Worried about a family member?

The RISE Foundation is dedicated to supporting families who are suffering the devastation and heartache of having a loved one in addiction. Since you’re here, you probably have a loved one or friend whom you are worried about. You will want to know the following:

So how do you help your loved one who may have a problem with alcohol or drugs? What can you do that will make a difference?

  • It is important that we work on changing our own behaviour first, not our loved one who has the problem.
  • This may be hard to understand at first, but the reality is that we are probably not going to be able to directly change our loved ones behaviour.
  • Manipulating or threatening the person in addiction will only drive them deeper into isolation and heavier into their addiction.
  • If we try to control another person’s behaviour in addiction we are going to experience a loss of control and real powerlessness.
  • Instead, if we focus on changing our own behaviour, we will experience full control and an empowering mind-set.
  • This is how we go about helping our loved one in addiction: by focusing on our own behaviour and how we choose to interact with our loved one with the problem ….not by focusing on how we can change this person.

What is enabling?

It’s just what it sounds like. If we enable our loved one with the problem, we allow them to continue drinking or drugging when they otherwise might have had to stop. But this gets tricky, because sometimes when we try to help the problem user, we are actually enabling them. Other times when we think we are “hurting” them, we are actually helping them by observing healthy boundaries. Figuring out the difference here is critical.

A few points which determine the amount of unwitting enabling we may be involved in:

  • Calling in “sick” for our loved one with the problem, covering up and lying about their symptoms.
  • Accepting part of the blame for them or resultant embarrassing behaviour.
  • Making excuses for their behaviour.
  • Fear of the response if confronting them about their drinking or drug use.
  • Bailing them out of Garda custody or paying for their legal fees.
  • Paying bills that they were supposed to have paid themselves.
  • Regularly funding their addiction
  • Joining them in drinking or drug use hoping to strengthen the relationship or control their intake.
  • Constantly giving them “one more chance”.
  • Threatening to abandon them and not carrying it through.
  • Covering up for them in social and professional areas hiding the true extent of their problem.
  • The problem (whether it be drinking or drug use) is kept a secret within the family.

Please remember that your loved one’s addiction is NOT your fault and you are not alone.

If you are worried about a family member or would like to find out more about our Family Programmes please fill out an enquiry form

Or

E-mail: therisefoundation.ireland@gmail.com
Telephone: +353 1 764 5131
Mobile: +353 87 966 1919